There is not enough recognition for the abuse that goes on in our society. Often times we do not even hear about it because women are too afraid to report it. Raising awareness and trying to help women deal with the abuse they have dealt will hopefully be educating. I have heard stories from friends who have dealt with abusive relationships and until I had heard about them, I didn't think such things happened. A man is supposed to treat a woman with respect and be there to take care of her. Why has it come to the fact that he is doing the total opposite and abusing her? Most men do not see that they are doing anything wrong and don't know why their partner would even think of leaving them. It is hard to say you would never let yourself be in such a relationship until it is you who is actually the one experiencing it first hand.

The Abusive Mentality

     I chose this chapter because I am curious to know more about why a man feels the need to abuse. Sometimes a man doesn't realize how hurtful he is being, whether it be physically or mentally. I believe it comes to a point of where he doesn't think he is doing anything wrong. The abusive man tries to justify his actions to make them seem right. I am very curious to know more about the spheres of control.


This link provides signs and reasons to watch for if you think your partner is being abusive. Most of the time relationships do not start off as abusive and you wonder what changes with time.
http://www.authorsden.com/categories/article_top.asp?catid=57&id=28889

Most women believe that they are the reason for their partner being abusive. This is not the case. They have to choice of being abusive and they are the ones who are causing it.
http://www.stanford.edu/group/svab/relationships.shtml


NO ONE LOVES ME MORE THAN HIM
If only he would go away, I'd be free.
I'm going nowhere but insane. As I push my way up off this bed I'm praying.
This isn't love. It's sink or swim.
He can't hurt me anymore but he keeps saying,
No one loves me more than him.
Reaching out for help. I can't do this alone.
Getting out is hard to do.
The last crazy fight we had, he pulled out the phone.
Every time, I say we are through.
No more crying, no more fighting, and no more pain.
I'm better than all this, I know.
I'm on my way. The sun is shining through the rain.
It doesn't matter where I go.
Breaking free.
Up I plunder.
I love me.
A beautiful wonder.
~Debra McKee







This website provides characteristics of abusive men, gives the cycle that abuse may take, the different types of violence, and a little more information to determine if you or someone you know is a victim of abuse.
http://www.herizonhouse.com/abuse/abusive-men/

The Real Deal on the Danger Signs in a Relationship
     Abuse is more prevalant than most of us believe. I am so shocked that women believe it is their fault that they are being mentally or physically abused. I can understand how they could believe it is their fault though, their relationship is all about manipulation and control. Most women believe that the relationship is going to get better but it won't. Staying with their partner or spouse is only going to make it worse because they are now enabling their partners. Many times men are abusive because they were previous victims of abuse.



References:
Alexander, S. (n.d.). Abusive men: top 10 signs of an abusive man. Retrieved from
      http://www.authorsden.com/categories/article_top.asp?catid=57&id=28889

Characteristics of abusive men. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.herizonhouse.com/abuse/abusive-men/

Controlling and abusive relationships. (2006). Unpublished manuscript, Sexual Violence Advisory Board,    
     Stanford University, Stanford, California. Retrieved from
     http://www.stanford.edu/group/svab/relationships.shtml

McKee, D. (2009). No one loves me more than him. Retrieved from http://www.ideamarketers.com/?
     NO_ONE_LOVES_ME_MORE_THAN_HIM&articleid=451420

The real deal on the danger signs in a relationship. (2007, September 24). Retrieved from
     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8o_19M0J2wI
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